Friday, April 6, 2012

Bullied - My Story

I remember everyday crying to myself, hating myself, and just wanting it all to be over. I truly believe I was committing self-inflicted pain just by getting out of bed and getting dressed each morning. 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week, 12 full agonizing years. School was my hell. Where could I turn? The teachers? Ha! They were instigators. One of my "nicknames" was given to me by my french teacher. He made use of my lack of understanding of the language, and made one single joke. My legs have extra bones in them that make running difficult. The teacher commented that I ran like a duck. The nickname Ducky ended up in my grade 8 year book, placed there by a student bully. Another teacher told me my epidermis was showing. That was my first day at PCPS. The whole class laughed, I cried. I was only 9 years old. I had left all of my previous bullies back at Laggan to come to this? New kids, new teachers, new bullies. One boy in particular would threaten to punch me in the face if he saw me at recess. We had recess 3 times a day. There are only so many places to hide. My grade 6 teacher would write notes home to my mother suggesting I get a hearing aid because clearly I wasn't listening properly. This note was not meant to help. I had no trouble listening, I had trouble being bullied by my teachers.

In high school it didn't get better. One day in English class the entire class started chanting "Dumbo", another nickname given to me due to my ears sticking our. They wouldn't stop and the teacher just wanted to treat us like adults so he wouldn't yell at them to make them stop. I ran out of class crying straight to Vice Principal's office, where he explained to me that he was unable to expel the whole school and faculty, so I might as well just leave and go to another school. I lived in a small town with only one high school, where else did he want me to go?!
The worst part? I would try to deflect the bullying off of me and onto another girl. It turns out this girl was getting sexually abused by her father daily. School was her only refuge and I made it hell for her. I am a victim, but I am also a bully. A fact that I can never shake.

Every person who has been bullied knows it has to stop. Some stop it with a gunshot, others with a suicide note. But it is not up to the victims to stop it. It's up to the rest of us. Go see this movie and share your story with someone. Maybe it will encourage them to know that they are not alone and that it doesn't have to end with a gunshot or suicide note.

It can end.

It will end.

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Baltimore House...Forevermore

“I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” 
― Augusten Burroughs

Earlier tonight I posted an opinion piece that was not fully thought through. There is a local cafe in my city that has recently became one of my favorite spots. I had seen a twitter post about them putting on a "Seance Thursday" theme night. Immediately I was disappointed. Personal convictions and expediences have shown me that seances and other such events can have a real impact on people, and not always in a good way. That being said I did what I have always done; I wrote my thoughts down. In 2002 that would have been the end of the story as we didn't have the internet traffic like we do now. Nowadays, one can post something and with in minutes spread it all over the globe. This doesn't mean that the messages sent are any more or less powerful, just that they are more known. So when I posted on my little blog and twittered it out, I thought nothing of it. With in minutes I had people contacting me through many different forms of media. At first I was confused, I had just written a opinion piece... was there something I was missing? The answer was and is yes. I had written the post with my heart, and left out my brain. I did no research on what was really going on. On their webpage it clearly states what was going on...

   "The Baltimore House presents Hamilton’s darkest night of dancing and invite you to come get lost with us in the fog and lights! We spin the iciest and crispest post-dub, witch-house, new-wave, techno, hip-hop and R&B all night long in The Parlour and chilliest trip-hop, chopped/screwed sounds in The Maryland Room. You’ve never experienced anything like this before." - Description taken from their online calandar

That doesn't sound evil, probably because it isn't. Clearly I over reacted. I don't want to make excuses, I just want to say I am sorry.

I do however want to clarify a few things...
  • First off, I have been a huge fan of The Baltimore House since I first entered the doors. I have brought many of my friends there and will continue to. 
  • Secondly, after seeing many of my friends live a life full of darkness, depression while searching for hope in things like black magic and rituals of the sort, I cannot say that I personally support things like that. So in my books seances are not cool. Dancing to music with a smoke machine to give an eerie feel, totally cool.  
  • Thirdly, I'm not a closed minded individual, but that doesn't mean I always blab blog using my head. As this blog is called "Projected Knowledge and Presumed Stupidity", I normally just like to brain dump whatever is on my mind here...sometimes that's wisdom, but most nights as tonight it is just folly.
  • Fourthly, I love Hamilton. We have such creative and passionate people. I do truly think it is important to support those people in there endeavors. Keep urban exploring, our city has great things in it. 
  • Fifthly, please follow The Baltimore House on Twitter, like them on Facebook and visit them in the up coming days. I promise you won't be disappointed!  

Faith, Love & Dynamite <3

Monday, March 19, 2012

It Happened On A Monday

It's Monday and so far these events have happened to me:

I accidentally kissed a spider! I was looking out my window trying to see if my grandfather was down the street, as I pulled away from the window I saw him crawling right where my lips had been. The old wives tale says if you kill a spider it will rain. What happens if you kiss one?!

The second incident occurred once I was at school. My class in on the fifth story of a building, and I sit right next to a very large window. Today the windows were being cleaned. I was focused on my studies, (alright I lie, I was playing a computer game), and just so happened to glace out the window. Without any notice two men repelled down to my window and began squeegeeing. Before I could control myself, I screamed. The whole class, including the two window washers, burst into laughter.

I still have nine hours left of this Monday. Not looking forward to it, in fact I'll probably be looking over my shoulder.

Faith, Love & Dynamite! <3