Sunday, January 9, 2011

Mafia Tendencies

I am not often a mean-spirited person. That being said, there are a few circumstances in which I can get volatile. One of those circumstances is when it comes to protecting my friends. I find myself taking on their battles and fighting with people who have done me no wrong. It is kind of like a mafia in my mind. I have a list of people who I will protect with all I got. What happens though when one person on my list hurts another person on my list? I find myself choosing sides. I turn my back on the friend who is lower on my list than the other. I wish I could find a way where I did not feel the need to protect one person at the expense of another. Tonight I have been rude to a guy who does not deserve it, or at least not from me. I feel conflicted because the reason I am being short with him is because he hurt my friend's feelings. At the same time, the end-result action that he took toward such friend is one that I fully agree with. So how do I stay loyal to two good friends, on opposite sides and still stay true to how I feel? One might say that it is none of my business, and that I should stay out of it. That person would be a wise person. However, my mafia tendencies are how I show my loyalties. Ugh, I feel bad.

Hopefully I'll figure this out one day. Until then, though...
Faith, Love & Dynamite

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